Beautiful Sky.....

I took these shots on 12-11-08. The sky had a weird pink overcast to it...and when I went outside it was so much more colorful. These are just a few shots I got from the front of my home..down the street and from the back porch.

A quick..what's going on with me..

December 19,2008 I went in for gallbladder surgery and I almost did not make it out alive. The doctor went in a punctured my vena cava (which is the largest vein in the body) tore my peritoneum (covers the intestines)and bruised and kicked around my spleen. After he took out my gallbladder...which they do while you are sitting up on the surgery table..they laid me back and my abdomen began to fill with blood. I had internal bleeding and they could not see where it was coming from. So he opened me up and had to look for the bleed. It was in my vena cava and it was told to us that it had clotted off and the bleeding had stopped. I went in surgery with a hemoglobin of around 13...which in normal for a female..came out of surgery with a hemoglobin of 8. I did not know what had happen to me. I went in surgery around 11am and was supposed to be out of recovery and back to my room by 1pm. All I remember is having this terrible pain in my stomach..looking at the clock and it was 6pm or later and having a morphine pump for pain. Someone told me what had happened..but I wasn't getting it. I was so drugged. My friends told me that I was very swollen and looked awful. The whole weekend was a blur..I don't remember much at all...other than pain and thinking how am I going to swing being off of work for 6 weeks. Well Sunday I kept having the weird beating feeling in my head. It didn't hurt but it sounded like drums banging in my ears and I could feel it in my neck. My pulse was fast and I knew something was wrong. Then my skin started to turn yellow and very white and I had a ton of swelling in my back..legs...hips...butt..everywhere. I was swollen like a dead fish. Noni gave me a bath late that night..I finally laid down around 1am. I was pooped. Noni told the nurse that something was wrong with me before she left. I was sleeping good until 3am then the lab person came in and stuck me for the 20th time. I fell back to sleep..then at 3:25am my nurse and the lab person came back in and said that I had a hemoglobin of 6.1 and that means I don't have enough blood in my body to keep my organs or my heart going. That would explain why my heart was working so hard to pump. I called my husband, Erica and Noni. Everyone was there and I was scared to death. There are things I felt and things I said but I would rather not comment on that right now. I had a weird calm about me and I was not sure if I was going to live or die. It was not looking good at all. Everyone was upset..wanting answers and solutions. My husband was ready to beat the hell out of the doctor for taking everything so lightly. I was so weak I don't really remember alot of stuff. Next thing I know I am going to get a CT Scan to make sure I'm not bleeding internally and then I was to get 2 units of blood. I had no internal bleeding thank God! The day was scary and not something I would ever want to go through again. All I could think of was my son and how I needed to be strong for him..because he needs his mom and I need him. Alot of things became very clear to me after it was over with. Now I just have to sort all of it out. Not right now..I don't have the strength for it..but in time when I'm stronger I will.

Nobody's Home.......

This song is by Avril Lavigne. "Nobody's Home" Listen to the lyrics. Has anyone ever felt like this? Lost...maybe...?

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"Nobody's Home"

I couldn't tell you why she felt that way,
She felt it everyday.
And I couldn't help her,
I just watched her make the same mistakes again.

What's wrong, what's wrong now?
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Open your eyes and look outside, find the reasons why.
You've been rejected, and now you can't find what you left behind.
Be strong, be strong now.
Too many, too many problems.
Don't know where she belongs, where she belongs.
She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

Her feelings she hides.
Her dreams she can't find.
She's losing her mind.
She's fallen behind.
She can't find her place.
She's losing her faith.
She's fallen from grace.
She's all over the place.
Yeah,oh

She wants to go home, but nobody's home.
It's where she lies, broken inside.
With no place to go, no place to go to dry her eyes.
Broken inside.

She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah
She's lost inside, lost inside...oh oh yeah

Happy? Mmm let me think?

This week has went by like a blur. I don't even remember half of it to be honest. My mind is in so many different place I can't keep up. I worked this past weekend and well it was just work. Let me see if I can remember anything about last week.

#1 Well Monday nights are always interesting around here. Noni came over and we did our usual..Laugh like crazy and make fun of the craziness in our life's..It does help.

#2 I FINALLY got the wedding pictures done. She loved them and so did everyone else. Its possible that I may get more work from people seeing these pictures.

#3 I found out I'm not crazy..I have been having pain for a reason. I have over 10 gallstones and the painful organ is going to go away. Thank God. At this rate I won't have any internal organs left before I'm 40!

#4 My husband and I actually got to spend some quiet time alone. No kid..no phones and the TV was off. WOW!!! Yeah!! I know!!

#4 I got my Christmas tree up and pimped out. Now if I can get the damn cat to leave it alone.

#5 Janette and I had lunch and like usual we have a good chat...catch up..get our daily dose of advice from one another and then complain we ate too much!

#6 Noni found a ring tone that is way to funny. It's called crazy train and the voice on this thing sounds like its on crack and it goes nuts. Its hard to explain how it sounds but...I called Erica Monday night and told her this is her new ring tone on my phone. I played it for her and we laughed so hard I about wet my pants and kept on snorting while I was laughing. I couldn't breath I was laughing so hard. She was driving and I don't know how she didn't run off the road. Man I wish I could put the ring tone on here. The "crazy train" thing is an inside joke between my friends and I. I know...it was a had to be there moment. But it was funny as hell.

#7 It warmed my heart to watch my son get so excited about the Christmas Tree. He loves it.

#8 I have discovered a little pill that will let me have dairy foods. Hello ice cream!! I'm so excited.

I'm sure if I sit and think a bit longer I can remember what else has made me happy this week...but I'm tired and I'm going to sleep....on the couch. My hubby is sooo sick. I love him..but I don't want whatever bug he has!

My Happy this past week.weird week..

Well what has made me Happy this past week? That is a hard question. I feel like I have ran a marathon of emotions this past week. I have had moments that made me feel like I could walk on the clouds and fly...then I have had moments that have rocked me to my core.
Its complicated to describe the moments I have had this week. Some of them so personal that I just don't and won't even dare talk about...and others that I can share. My week started out on a good note..nothing to complain about....Had some really good moments Monday and Tuesday. Then the bomb dropped Weds morning. My cousin called me and my aunt had died of an overdose. Yeah! Did not see that one coming in a million years. This is my biological dads sister. I was not really around my dad but I was around my aunts. They were my only link to this side of the family and my only link to help me figure out..me. The parts of me that I don't know or understand. See.. not having your biological dad around...You kinda feel adopted and you don't know that part of yourself..Kinda like something is missing. Anyway...this is the second sibling my dad had lost in 3 months. My uncle died the end of August. Well having to deal with my aunt dying also meant I would have to deal with my biological dad. I don't usually do that very well. Come to find out I am just as bullheaded as he is. So to make a long story short..then I will get to the happy stuff...My dad and I talked..kinda put some things to rest. All of the family said that it was great to see us talking. They were happy..he is happy..I'm ok with it. But I don't trust men and I still don't trust him..But I'm willing to give it a shot. I don't want a phone call from an aunt telling me that my dad is dead and we never go to make peace between us. I don't think I could handle that sort of torture or guilt. I feel guilt over enough stuff in my life right now. I certainly don't need more.

ok here goes happy.

#1 Spent time with an old friend...and got caught up on some stuff that we had been needing to share. That is always a good thing.

#2 Got to see some of my family that I have not seen in a long time.

#3 put some of my past behind me by talking with my biological dad..Actually learned a few things about myself.

#4 Had a great Thanksgiving with my family.

#5 Me and Stevie went for a ride on the 4 wheeler and go caught up on our lives...We have to get away from everyone to get enough sanity to talk or remember what IS going on in our lives.

#6 I finished a family portrait session and the client loved them! Yippie!

#7 This rocks out!!! Erica will be working on my weekends from now on. This will do me more good than anyone knows! I'm so excited. She says she had to have a dose of Sam every day or so to keep from getting on the CRAZY TRAIN...I feel the same way about her.

#8 Did not think that a 1am phone call that started out as a bitch session would actually solve some problems and make our lives better? I didn't thinks so. Who knew!

#9 Had lunch with my cousin..we had so much catching up to do..we ate lunch for 2 hrs. It was great!

#10 Me and Erica loaded up on coffee and adrenaline and went shopping on Black Friday. We were not out 10 min and I thought I was going to have to use my Christmas money....has bail money. That would have been funny to explain since her hubby is a cop. But he wouldn't be surprised to see us in lock up!!

#11 Janette and I actually got to see each other a couple of times this past week...Wow its a miracle!!

#12 I got to sleep Monday morning away. Loved it!!

#13 As usual I think of myself as being weak and tired as far as certain parts of my life is concerned. But I am learning how to control my weaknesses and not let them control me. I still don't know why I hang on to things that I know will get me no where.....but I still hang on. Stupid or is it just a part of me that will be there forever. But either way..atleast I am in control of how it affects me...right now anyway..But I have to stay positive!

Change......

This was me almost a year ago on Christmas. I think I look like a big fat swollen pig. But that is just me. It had been a really hard year and it wasn't over. I think I was dealing with my feeling by loading up on the chocolate. Back in the day I would not eat..so I felt really out of control. I was not taking care of myself at all. Dealing with Autism...sick husband..hysterectomy at the young age of 33 and on top of that..I could feel a change coming on and I was fighting it. But was it a change I was fighting or just fighting my true self coming out. I had hid her away for sooo long and I was so scared of her....would anyone love me....for me. I still don't know the answer to that one. Well anyway...April of this year came about...and one day I just snapped and I have been different every since that day. Look below......




So this is me now...I have dropped over 40 pounds and I have went down 7 sizes in pants almost 8 sizes. I can't say that I'm any better at taking care of myself..but I'm more picky about what I eat and that I try to get more exercise. Since the cold weather has set in....I don't go out to walk..but I have been on the treadmill and the weights...and I love my punching bag..Trust me..I need that!!! I have changed in many other ways..Some I feel comfortable talking about..some I don't. I have gotten over the fact that I need to please everyone...It just doesn't work and it wears me out. I won't walk on glass for anyone anymore. Maybe someone should walk on glass for me. AND me being *pleasing*...over that! I won't take anyones crap...And I want some damn respect for being the woman that I am...not the woman everybody wants me to be...If you don't like who I am...sorry for ya! I feel the way I feel..I am the way I am....I won't make excuses for my feelings or the way I see things. I just can't be that way anymore.....

Sanctuary

This is my tiny peaceful place for sanity...for a get away...and also work..when need be. This is my place in the house were everyone stays out unless I want you there. If I go in and shut the door...good chance that if you open the door..you may get something thrown at you....no not really..but I like to be left alone for awhile. I love my big fat chair ! My husband got me this about a year and half ago. I could sit in it all day. Usually in the mornings after my son gets on the bus..I get my coffee, laptop and a blanket and I sit and check my email and try to wake up or I fall back to sleep. Depends on the day. I have been doing alot of my photography edits in this chair. It keeps my back from hurting and I can stretch out my legs..good thing because of my crappy knee!
I try to hang up pictures that I have taken and other things to inspire me in this room. Pics of my family...friends..and my SMALLVILLE stuff. You know I have a big o poster and my calendar. Love looking at that. All my girlfriends like to look at that! I spend alot of time in this room during the day when I'm alone. I don't turn on the TV..I turn up the music and get to work...get creative. I return emails.. blog and try to learn more about photography. I can't spend all day in there....But I would love to on most days.

Song of the Year "Stay" by Sugarland

Sugarland won "song of the year" last night. I was rooting for this song. The first time I saw the video about a year ago..I balled....Just watching her sing about a pain she knows all too well. All the girls at work would turn this up and sing it...
It's one of my favorite video's just because of the raw emotion. Jennifer Nettles wrote this song...and she sings it with such openess ..So here ya go...Lyrics are listed at the bottom.....I LOVE Sugarland and Jennifers voice!


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I've been sitting here staring at the clock on the wall
And I've been laying here praying, praying she won't call
It's just another call from home
And you'll get it and be gone
And I'll be crying

And I'll be begging you, baby
Beg you not to leave
But I'll be left here waiting
With my Heart on my sleeve
Oh, for the next time we'll be here
Seems like a million years
And I think I'm dying

What do I have to do to make you see
She can't love you like me

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

You keep telling me, baby
There will come a time
When you will leave her arms
And forever be in mine
But I don't think that's the truth
And I don't like being used and I'm tired of waiting
It's too much pain to have to bear
To love a man you have to share

Why don't you stay
I'm down on my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
Don't I give you what you need
When she calls you to go
There is one thing you should know
We don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay

I can't take it any longer
But my will is getting stronger
And I think I know just what I have to do
I can't waste another minute
After all that I've put in it
I've given you my best
Why does she get the best of you
So next time you find you wanna leave her bed for mine

Why don't you stay
I'm up off my knees
I'm so tired of being lonely
You can't give me what I need
When she begs you not to go
There is one thing you should know
I don't have to live this way
Baby, why don't you stay, yeah

Hmmm...

Well I really don't have too much to say tonight other than...I'm kinda looking forward to work tonight. It's quiet and I need that right about now. I'm looking forward to getting my work done and then just taking a time out. I may work on my photo's or just put in a cd of Smallville...that usually relaxed me. Well I will blog more tomorrow...maybe I will have more to say..

This week "What has made me happy"

Here is another list of what has made me happy this week. This past week has been full of ups and downs but needless to say its all good in the hood.

#1 Noni brought me coffee and we went walking at Legion Park Thursday.

#2 I got close to the ground and looked at the beautiful colors of the leaves.
They were pink..fire red...brown..yellow..just every color. It was so
breathtaking.

#3 My son can say the "Pledge of Allegiance" front to back.

#4 I have learned the art of retreating. Just letting go of what pisses me off or hurts me. Why get upset over something that won't change. Getting upset won't change anything or anyone. I'm just shocked that I have done this. Not my usual temperament.

#5 I have a great friend that knows just when to call me. She has me low jacked...I swear she called me 15 times Tuesday. I guess we both needed to hear each other and talk.

#6 I took time to myself Friday and got some great shots of the Fall leaves. It is my favorite time of year ya know!

#7 Found some new music I like. So I burned a cd and I am so rockin out in my car.

#8 I got to work with Mary this weekend...so that always makes me happy.

#9 Today (Sunday) has been very relaxing..no stress...no drama..just quiet..for the most part.

#10 Thanksgiving plans have been made. So that is out of the way.

#11 A close friend of mine came to visit me on Monday. Our lives have thrown us in different direction so getting to visit has been difficult to say the least. She came over and stayed for almost 2 and half hours. It was so nice to see her.

#12 The ability to finally see things for what they are. Its so liberating.

It Keeps Gettin Better ( very fitting to my personality)

I heard this on the radio today while I was cleaning my office. I'm loving this song. It may have to be my theme song...Enjoy the video. Lyrics are below.



Keeps Getting Better lyrics

Step back gonna come at ya fast
I'm driving out of control
And getting ready to crash
Won't stop shaking up what I can
I serve it up in a shot
So suck it down like a man
So baby yes I know what I am
And no I don't give a damn
And you'll be loving it

Some days I'm a super bitch
Up to my old tricks
But it won't last forever
Next day I'm your super girl
Out to save the world
And it keeps gettin' better

Kiss kiss gonna tell you right now
I'll make it sweet on the lips i'll simply knock you out
Shut up I don't care what you say
Cuz when we both in the ring you're gonna like it my way
Yeah baby there's a villain in me so sexy sour and sweet
And you'll be loving it

Some days I'm a super bitch
Up to my old tricks
But it won't last forever
Next day I'm your super girl
Out to save the world
And it keeps gettin' better

Hold on
Keeps gettin' better
Hold on
Keeps gettin' better

In the blink of an eye
In the speed of the light
I'll hold the universe up
And make your planets collide
When I strap on my boots
And I slip on my suit
You see the vixen in me
Becomes an angel for you

Some days I'm a super bitch
Up to my old tricks
But it won't last forever
Next day I'm your super girl
Out to save the world
And it keeps gettin' better

Some days I'm a super bitch
Up to my old tricks
But it won't last forever
Next day I'm your super girl
Out to save the world
And it keeps gettin' better

Hold on
Keeps gettin' better
Hold on
Keeps gettin' better

I had some time to myself yesterday....

I work in the town that I grew up in..so yesterday was payday and a good reason for me go to this place and to take my camera and get some pictures of the fall colors and some of the river. There is a bluff in this little town that over looks the Ohio River and you can see far into Kentucky...mainly farmland..but its beautiful. I absolutely love to sit on the bluff and watch the water..bridge and just do nothing but sit. Its very peaceful and quiet. I go there anytime I have a chance to. I'm waiting for the chance to go up there..set up my tripod and get a shot of the full moon. When you are up on the bluff it looks like the moon is right over top of you...almost so much that you can touch it. Its magical. That is one shot that I have not been able to get...and something I need to do. I love to watch the moon.
Anywho..I took these pictures from different sides of the town. The picture of the gate..someone built a huge house on the bluff and its incredible...I just look at it and think "who needs that much room?" but its nice to take pictures of. The other shot is of a house on the other side of town. Its an older house with so much character..and a front porch to die for. The view is beautiful. That place is more my speed. I could set out on that porch drinking coffee..or if need be a margarita and relax. I hope you enjoy these shots.

My tomorrow...

I'm just not sure how my day will be spent...I think I'm going to a friends house in the morning for a much needed break from everything. Coffee with be waiting and I will need it...I hope to make it there...just depends on how my night at work goes. I may be to tired to function or drive for that matter. I feel like I should just come home..take a sleep aid and pass out until 2pm when my son gets off the bus. I think I would not feel..act...or just be the way I have been if I would just sleep right..eat right and just learn how to back away from things.
I guess its just not in my nature to do that. But I so need to learn...or I will go nuts..and I'm about there. I'm just not sure how much more fight I have in me. And I AM a fighter....but I'm tired of fighting for or about anything. I feel like I have been fighting for months and months. Somethings have bothered me to my core the past week or so..and yes I could have fought or said things....but I can't..I just can't do it anymore. I am backing away and just letting things go. I don't really care where they go.....just go. There IS beauty in letting go. You just have to see if for what it is. Well I have to go to work now and I hope the night goes smooth....and tomorrow goes even better...

Here is one of my favorite Dixie Chicks songs...it relaxes me to sing it...Enjoy

Cowboy Take Me Away

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Halloween

Halloween this year was interesting to say the least. It was good and the kids had a great time. I dressed up as the devil....yeah! I know..How fitting is that?! Noni took some pics of me before I lost the boots and the fish nets. I would post more of those but I don't think my husband would approve of that..They are well...different and not for the world to see. The boots are going back to the store..I really have no need to keep them anymore and I only wore them for about an hour or so! I have another pair in the closet..so I don't need two. My family got together and we took the kids around the neighborhood. They came back with a sack full of candy. My dad always comes and walks with us. I think there were 12 of us and 2 dogs all together. We looked like a biker gang. It was fun and we were all worn out at the end of the day. Maybe next year the day won't be so crazy..and go just a little slower.


This is actually one of my favorite pics that Noni took of me. It kinda freaks me out to be honest. My eyes can tell a story..and I had alot on my mind.


This is Chuck..My sister's boyfriend..my someday brother in law. I call him my brother from another mother..He loves to torment me and I hate clowns with a passion. But his plan backfired. He tried to jump out from the trees and scare me.
I didn't get scared....I guess I was kinda numb and it just didn't work..Poor guy! he tried hard though...




Fireman and witchy poo

My hubby relaxing between all the madness

My sister and her family








Me and my sis....

So very tired....

Not much to say today other than I am so tired....I feel like I could sleep for weeks. I think I am worn down..way down...just from having too much to do and to much on my mind....

So I got on YouTube and looked around at stuff that struck some good emotions and memories in my heart. This is the Faith Hill and Tim McGraw video to "Its Your Love. This song was played at our wedding. This is the song we danced to. I have not heard this song or seen the video in forever....



Here is the song that was played at our wedding before the wedding march started. My sister started to ball when the song started...and had to go into the bathroom...and then that is when I started to shake.....but I got over it....
The official video is disabled and its my favorite one... so I picked out the best one I could find.

Pool Shark

We went to a baby shower on Sunday and my son found something to occupy his time. A pool table. He loved it! He loves numbers and anything that moves. I was scared because he was carrying around a big stick and I was afraid someone would lose an eye or something else...but it was all good. He did a great job and he played for over an hour straight.....

List of Happy

What has made me happy this past week...I will try to keep this simple...try!

My son got 100% on is math test.

I got White chocolate raspberry and peppermint mocha coffee creamer.

Friday after my shoot..I was watching the sun peak through the clouds and it was beautiful.

One more person in this world told me they understand me better...always a plus.

Watched my son pick up leaves in the yard.

I had a banana pudding shake....a friend told me about it..so I had to try it.

My fall clothes are too big...Yeah!!!

Erica's laugh..when we talk about being on the "crazy train express" and we are sitting in the back seat...and wonder how we can get up front to get off the train!

I got to watch Sex and the City and it was great.

Noni and I laughed as we read bumper stickers on myspace...We could do that all day..I had not laughed like that in weeks.

Watching my son eat 2 big pancakes..my biscuit...3 chicken nuggets and fries..THAT Never Happens...

My family and one of my best friend's family went to the apple fest and dinner...we had a great time. Erica and I even got to go to Wally world alone without kids. We felt like we were 16 again.

I fell asleep on the couch with the fireplace going.

Was kissed by the man I love.......felt like sunshine on my skin....

Sleeping on my flannel sheets....

Being so thankful for the wonderful God given friends that I have...they are the best.
Talking with a great old friend.......

Listening to my windchimes and the wind blow through the trees.

Taking a bubble bath when the house is quiet....other than my music playing.

Having lunch with Janette.....

Sitting on my porch having coffee..

One of my photographs won an award.....

I got a cheap ring that I have wanted forever. For $7.99.....Instead of 30 bucks...

My son gave me big hugs and let me hold his hand.

Got a really great hair cut! I thought it was too short...but I have had more compliments on my hair like this....then when it was long.....Punked Out is what my friends call it. I love it!! It just needs a couple of red streaks and Im good to go.

Listened to "Heavenly Day" by Patty Griffin in the car....always relaxes me....

Sat in the quiet a few times this week...just to listen to my own thoughts and my own feelings.......attempted to center myself. Not an easy thing for me to do. But I did it and I was happy with myself for making the effort to even try....

I have discovered Beethoven's Immortal Beloved......here are a few lines

Be calm, only by a clam consideration of our existence can we achieve our purpose to live together - Be calm - love me - today - yesterday - what tearful longings for you - you - you - my life - my all - farewell. Oh continue to love me - never misjudge the most faithful heart of your beloved.
ever thine
ever mine
ever ours

That is the stuff that can melt a womans heart...I'm a sucker for poetry or writing from the heart....can't believe I admitted I like mushy girl stuff.

This may seem like a silly list with silly things.....but its just stuff that rolles around in my head. We always complain about what upsets us or messes up our days...so why not be thankful for the small things that keep us sane...

Tree's

I had a shoot at Yellow Creek Park on Friday. It had rained all day and that usually brings out the color in the leaves. I got some really good shots of the trees and all the colors changing...I hope to get more shots soon.

Nights in Rodanthe.......

Last night Janette and I went out on a long overdue girls night out. It has been months and months since we had been out and talked and caught up on what has been going on in our lives. We went to Texas Roadhouse and had appetizers. I had a huge Margarita..could not have come at a better time....and Nettie had a beer. After sitting there for awhile and talking about our crazy lives....we headed over to Wally World to get candy..ohh and me some new lip gloss (Tropical Punch)best one I have ever gotten...taste good. Anyhoo! We went to the movies. The only chick flick they had was Nights in Rodanthe. Ok...I kinda knew what I was walking into because this book is from the author that wrote Message in a Bottle, and (my fav) The Notebook. I don't want to give to much of it away because those that read my blog may want to go and see this movie. But all three of these movies have similar things in common. The beach....writing letters...and a love so strong and binding that it shakes your very soul. Janette and I were the only people in the theater. Thank the Lord for that....because we both were crying so hard..it would have been embarrassing. I was trying to hold it in so hard that I thought I was going to explode. I have not cried that hard in a month or two. More than likely not a good movie for me to be watching...kinda emotional ..The lead actress in this movie was so good. To watch her cry and grieve was truly amazing. You could actually feel every emotion she was going through.....
I woke up this morning with my eyes so swollen that it looked like I had water injected into my eyelids....and they have hurt all day....and getting worse the longer this night drags on. If you get a chance go and see this movie. Take some Kleenex and Visine.
Watching this movie..I have actually learned a few things about love...or not really learned but had to be reminded. A good love is supposed to make you better than what you are. A good love makes you want to be a better person....a good love makes anything almost possible.

Being silly........

Last week daddy felt like crap and went to bed really early...so before Samuel went to bed and I went back to work on my edits...I got lucky enough to get a few shots of me and my boy. He hates the flash on my camera...so that is the reason for the squinty eyes. But I did get some really sweet kisses out of the deal. They are not perfect or the best pictures in the world..but we like them.


My favorite shot.....

Kinda Lazy Weekend..not really...

Saturday and Sunday we worked in the backyard. We were putting a building up for the bikes, Samuel's toys and stuff for the pool. Our yard goes downhill and it was a bitch trying to level the ground so this building would be straight. I can't stand for things to be crooked or off balance so I had no patience for this what so ever. Plus I had been up since Friday morning @ 5:30 am and this was Saturday eve...and I was getting tired of it fast. I got really quiet..because I was getting ready to scream. Thank goodness Laz could handle the madness. He kept me from freaking out. Samuel had a blast though. He was helping Daddy move dirt, pick up rocks and whatever else he thought he could do. When we all finally made it into the house..we looked like we rolled in the dirt. When supper was over Laz took a shower..Samuel passed out in is room and I fell asleep at the dinner table. Yeah! I passed out with my head on the table. Laz got out of the shower and I heard him laughing. I woke up and had mascara on my arm and I was checking for drool. I was so tired and had been up for way to long. After my shower..we went to bed at 9pm and I don't even remember moving..turning over or anything. Next thing I know Samuel is between the both of us wanting oatmeal and Noggin at 7am. I could have slept three more hours.
We made it to church..Lowes..and Taco Bell and then home. Laz watched the race until Jeff Gordon got all smashed up :) He! He! Then he and Trent went outside to start on the building..again. This time I stayed in the house. I watched the race, fixed the roast..did laundry and cleaned house...and work on some photo's. So I guess the weekend was not too lazy after all. But we did get to stay home and did not have to be anywhere other than church. That was a nice change of pace.






Samuel painting...he was so into it!


It took me an hour or more to cut up everything to go into this roast. Of course we could not eat it Sunday night...but I let it cook all night and we just had it for supper tonight. Ohh and I actually baked a cake from scratch..not from a box. Noni thinks I have lost my mind. I never even attempt to do that. I can cook..but Im not Betty Crocker! Baking is not my thing usually.




This is my new toy. I waited a year before I decided to buy it. I really needed a bigger screen for my editing. The color is great and I can see everything I need to see.

Our new Baby J.....

Today Erica (one of my bestest friends) had a big corn fed fat little baby girl. She is a whopping 9 pounds and 9 oz and 21 1/2 in long....and a head full of hair. She is just perfect. Erica did so so good. She got a little sick after the c-section...and hurting of course..but she did great. Everyone was betting on how much she was going to weigh. I just said I'm not sure but she is going to be big..and she is. Her daddy is always pulling my leg and lying to me just to aggravate..because that is how he is...so he came out of the room and I asked him how much she weighed..he said "9 pounds 9oz." I told him to shut up and tell me the truth. I did not believe him! And he was telling the truth this time. I could not believe it.Big Brother Luke did a wonderful job too. He was such a good boy..nervous...but really good! She is so beautiful and I can't wait to just sit and hold her to check her out..and tell her stories about her Mommy and her Aunt Menca.
So get ready for it...I will be posting this little angel alot....She is still my Chloe..and no that is not her name!