Change......

This was me almost a year ago on Christmas. I think I look like a big fat swollen pig. But that is just me. It had been a really hard year and it wasn't over. I think I was dealing with my feeling by loading up on the chocolate. Back in the day I would not eat..so I felt really out of control. I was not taking care of myself at all. Dealing with Autism...sick husband..hysterectomy at the young age of 33 and on top of that..I could feel a change coming on and I was fighting it. But was it a change I was fighting or just fighting my true self coming out. I had hid her away for sooo long and I was so scared of her....would anyone love me....for me. I still don't know the answer to that one. Well anyway...April of this year came about...and one day I just snapped and I have been different every since that day. Look below......




So this is me now...I have dropped over 40 pounds and I have went down 7 sizes in pants almost 8 sizes. I can't say that I'm any better at taking care of myself..but I'm more picky about what I eat and that I try to get more exercise. Since the cold weather has set in....I don't go out to walk..but I have been on the treadmill and the weights...and I love my punching bag..Trust me..I need that!!! I have changed in many other ways..Some I feel comfortable talking about..some I don't. I have gotten over the fact that I need to please everyone...It just doesn't work and it wears me out. I won't walk on glass for anyone anymore. Maybe someone should walk on glass for me. AND me being *pleasing*...over that! I won't take anyones crap...And I want some damn respect for being the woman that I am...not the woman everybody wants me to be...If you don't like who I am...sorry for ya! I feel the way I feel..I am the way I am....I won't make excuses for my feelings or the way I see things. I just can't be that way anymore.....