First day of school...

Yesterday was Samuel's first day of Kindergarten. I have been dreading this day for a long time. But I put on a brave face and smiled and acted excited and woke him up. He snuck into Mommy and Daddy's bed the night before..so I look over and he is all snuggled up in Daddy's back. I start to wake him up and he tells me "No Mommy! We need some rest." But I started to talk to him about riding the school bus and he shot up out of the bed. Getting him ready is always a challenge...he wants to do one thing and I have to have him do another...we bang heads like two bulls! But Mommy wins! Once we got dressed and the teeth brushed...he was good to go. I let him watch Blue's Clues for about 15 minutes before we went outside to wait for the bus. I snuck some shots in while he was watching TV. I was about to choke to death taking these pictures...but I still held it together. Then it was time to go outside. He went in and woke up Daddy..and said "Daddy I have to go to big boy school now." The bus picks him up at 6:30 am...that is torture for a little guy. We went outside to wait and I got more shots of him in the drive way. When Daddy came outside I gave him the camera and he got a few of me and Samuel. I have to hold him until the bus comes to a stop because the air brakes freak him out...and it took all I had not to start crying and not let him get on that bus. But I put him down and watched him get on the bus. Now I know how my mom felt. She said that when I got on the bus for the first time...It looked like it swallowed me whole because I was so little and it was so big...and she just cried and cried. Well I waited until the door was shut and the wheels were rolling before I lost it. I stood in the driveway watching the bus turn the corner..and I cried and cried. Sat on the porch and cried for about 10 more minutes. Then I went into the house..sat on the couch....and me and the cat cried for about 30 minutes. Laz did not dare say a word to me for awhile...because I may have killed him. I was not in the mood to talk. But after 30 minutes he came in the living room and said "You gonna make it Mom?" I said "this sucks!!!" and that was about it! I just did not have the words. We sat down with our coffee and looked at each other like NOW WHAT ?! It was weird not having a kid in the house in the morning time. We have had kids with us every since we started dating. We sat around and talked...actually got to finish a conversation together. Well he had to leave and go out of town and I got dressed and a little while later Noni and I met for lunch at Red Lobster. We had a few drinks and trust me.....the day just got more weird for me and I should have just stayed at Red Lobster and sat at the bar! I went home and looked around thinking I needed to accomplish something..but said to hell with it. Samuel got home around 2:30 and I was so happy to see him. He is not able to tell me too much about his day..but I kept asking and we went through his backpack to see what all was in his folder. I'm so glad that first day is over with. Today is much better..I have kept busy..so that helps. I kinda like this quiet and freedom to get things done.....but I do miss my baby/boy.

Gotta fit in Blue's Clues


Ok...It's time to go now......


Mommy's puffy sad eyes!!




Im ready for big boy school now!


I'm barely holding together...can't we just forget about the bus......

Off he goes.....